Real Tall Farmers

jesus face

Farmer wakes up in the morning and eats gravel for breakfast
If she gets hungry after that, it’s poke shoots or greenbrier

If she’s not bucking logs
Or cutting somebody’s balls off,
Then she’s starin’ down the sun
Asking who made who
And what made what

For lunch a farmer eats wood
And she eats lots of it
Cause it’s gonna be a while till the day’s done

There’s hay and water and dirt and blood
And if there’s nothing else to do
Then she’s post hole digging
Putting up fence

For supper farmer eats metal
Cattle panels are her favorite
But hog pannels’ll do
And after eating she flosses with barbed wire

You might think she drinks glyphosate
But she doesn’t
Real farmers don’t drink at all
They eat snow

You find yourself a farmer
Hold tight
Cause farmers are something special
Like a Jesus face in the rust of an old pickup truck


Previously published in
A Swineherd’s Journal


4 thoughts on “Real Tall Farmers”

    1. Closes her eyes, yes
      But sleeps never
      You can’t tiptoe down the road
      With your boots in your hands
      But she’ll know about
      Ask you where you was going
      So late last night with the whippoorwills calling

    1. Thanks, I had fun composing it while I was fixing fences before we left for Mongolia 2 winters ago. Looks like I need to go back and add the date.

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